


With You By My Side

by fritokays



Category: Ocean's (Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Insomnia, Mentions of Violence, Past Violence, Sleep Deprivation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-30 21:07:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15104900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fritokays/pseuds/fritokays
Summary: Debbie Ocean can't sleep. She is tormented by her prison days at night and has taken to just not sleeping. Lou Miller, her partner in crime (literally) is the one who keeps finding her up at odd hours. This is all just angst about Debbie readjusting to life outside of prison. Post movie.*I finally wrote something. It's been so long. It took a movie full of lesbians (you can't convince me otherwise) to inspire me to write something.It's all angsty. I can't even apologize. It does get better at the end though.





	With You By My Side

She’s become a light sleeper over the last five years that she’s spent in jail. She had to. In the early days, she didn’t realize just how dangerous those around her could be. She found out quickly. Once she had proven her place there, she slept a little more soundly. She was wrong in assuming that she could do so. Very wrong.

So now she sleeps lightly. She goes to bed and lies very still until she falls into a shallow sleep. She wakes every morning exactly at seven a.m. if something making noise in the apartment doesn’t wake her first. 

She’s always the first one up. She doesn’t mind it though. She makes breakfast, she schemes, she reads, she does her laundry… and Constance’s because the girl just leaves it everywhere for god’s sake. Mornings are her time.

Lou sleeps well past noon, Rose is a night owl and sleeps most of the day, when Daphne is there she tends to do the same and stay up with Rose, Constance sleeps at her own place and just shows up later in the day, and Nineball crashes wherever and sleeps so soundly that it would take multiple explosions to wake her.

It’s 8:30 and Debbie is sat with her breakfast at the kitchen counter with the morning paper in front of her. She hears footsteps and looks up to see a sleep-disheveled Lou pad barefoot into the room while rubbing at her eyes.

“What are you doing up so early?” Debbie asks and she directs her attention back to the paper in front of her.

“I should ask you the same thing. You look like you haven’t slept at all in the last week,” Lou replies as she grabs a cup of coffee and props up on the counter across from Debbie, “What’s going on, Jailbird?” She asks after taking a sip of her morning caffeine clutch.

Debbie flinches slightly at the name. She knows that it’s not meant to be used harshly. She knows that Lou uses it as a term of endearment, but she flinches none the less. 

“I always get up early,” She deflects the question and flips the page of her newspaper, “You know that.”

“I seem to remember a city girl who loved the hustle and bustle of the night and preferred sleeping during the day,” Lou pointed out and reached across the counter to snag a piece of bacon from Debbie’s plate. The brunette, for her part, doesn’t seem to mind in the slightest. 

“Things change,” Debbie says. And that’s that.

0~0~0

She woke with a start and felt her entire body tense. This happened often. She shook herself out of her reverie and stood from her bed before making her way into the bathroom next door.

Debbie sat on the edge of the tub and ran a hot bath for herself. She needed to wake up and she felt that this was going to be the quickest way to get there. She was still sitting on the edge of the tub ledge when the softest of knocks came at the bathroom door before none other than Lou was sticking her head through it just enough to see who was in there.

Once she realized it was Debbie and that she was still fully dressed, she stepped inside and took a long look at the woman, “Alright, Ocean. Why haven’t you been sleeping?” She dead panned and Debbie turned the water off and ignored her as she ran her fingers idly through the hot water just below her, “It’s clear that you haven’t been sleeping. What is it?”

“Nothing,” Debbie said and shook her head feeling her resolve start to crumble. Lou always seemed to have that effect on her. 

“Your heist went off without a hitch, you haven’t mentioned any other job coming up, you never once lost sleep over Danny, so what is it, Jailbird?” She asked tiredly and narrowed her eyes when Debbie winced just enough for Lou to see it.

“Lou, I’m trying to bathe here. So if you wouldn’t mind,” She glanced pointedly from Lou to the door and the blonde stared for another few moments before sighing and leaving the room and Debbie to her own thoughts.

The woman climbed into the bath after discarding her pajamas and wept silently for the secrets she wanted to tell so badly but just couldn’t.

0~0~0

It was 4 in the morning about a week later. She was out on the back deck staring at the horizon just starting to brighten with the early morning sun. She’d woken about an hour earlier and here she was now, dazed and exhausted but unable to sleep any longer.

The door behind her opened and she knew who it was without even turning to look, “You’re up exceptionally early,” She murmured knowing that the woman would hear her.

“I could say the same thing about you,” Came her quiet reply. Debbie didn’t respond and just wrapped her arms more tightly around herself, “Ocean, you have got to talk whatever this is out. It’s not healthy to bottle up whatever it is that you’re bottling up. I’ve never known you to just not sleep. What is going on?”

Debbie was silent for a long time. She was silent for so long that she wasn’t sure she was going to be able to find her voice when she finally opened her mouth. She was silent for so long, that Lou wasn’t sure that she was ever going to answer her. But she did. 

“I don’t like it when you call me Jailbird,” She finally started. She said it quietly and wasn’t even sure that Lou heard her until the blonde shifted and turned to face her. 

“What? Is that it?” Lou asked incredulously and Debbie blinked hard as she shook her head slightly.

“No, that’s not it,” She sighed out shakily, “I don’t sleep because…” She trailed off and bit at her bottom lip. She raked a hand through her hair and leaned on the railing in front of her as she regained her composure. 

Lou watched all of this unfold. Watched as her best friend, her partner, the absolute unrequited love of her life fell apart in front of her.

“I don’t sleep because of prison,” Debbie finally whispered. Lou stayed still. She knew that Debbie wasn’t finished yet, “I don’t sleep because I’m terrified of being woken up in the night. I don’t sleep because I am so scared to wake up with a shank pressed against my throat,” She let out a sob here and Lou stepped closer to her but Debbie stepped away and held out a hand in a clear ‘not yet’ message. 

“I don’t sleep because I am absolutely terrified of being yanked out of my bed and dragged into the bathroom so that someone can beat me,” She said, “I can’t sleep because every time I slept soundly while I was in there, something terrible happened.” 

She finally broke and her cries wracked her body. Lou stepped forward and enveloped the crying woman in her arms. She rocked her back and forth as she shushed her soothingly and pressed kisses into her hair. She held her like that until the sun had finally risen and Debbie had cried herself out.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to unload all of that onto you,” She said quietly and Lou could hear the broken tone that came from the woman. 

“Don’t apologize for being human, baby,” Lou replied as she gently trailed her fingers through long brown waves, “You needed this,” She continued, “I’m glad that you told me,” She said as she continued to rock the other woman.

Debbie was silent and just allowed Lou to hold her. She held her too. She had wound her arms around Lou’s waist and held on like she was her life line. 

“Now,” Lou said after a few more moments, “Let’s get you to bed,” She finished and Debbie pulled back quickly and opened her mouth to protest. Lou silenced her with a kiss and Debbie froze in shock before she just kissed her back. It had been a long time coming after all.

When they parted, Lou smiled at her, “Let’s get you into my bed so I can hold you while you sleep, darling. No one is going to hurt you. Not ever again,” Lou said and there was an edge to her voice that had Debbie telling herself that Lou could never know the names of the people who had harmed her while she was imprisoned.

Debbie followed Lou upstairs. The blonde held her hand the entire way and then tugged her into the bed when she hesitated. She settled the brunette in before pulling her close and holding her by the waist.

“Sleep, Debbie.”

And she did.


End file.
